Life in the chrysalis.Posted: January 6, 2015
Photo: at home. New flatscreen TV with keffiyeh. Christmas tree in the living room.
I’m turning into someone else. I’m not sure who, yet. I just have to let it happen.
I thought I was good at saying no before, but now, wow. I say no six times before breakfast. I leave the house to buy groceries, work out, see my family, and that’s about it.
Part of it is necessary immersion in the new novel. In many ways, I’m not really “here.” I’m in the Maya lowlands, post-collapse, eleventh century.
Part of it is that my apartment is so warm, and I hate the cold, especially when my body still remembers the liquid gold sun of Palawan.
Part of it is that I might want my life to be different. Here is how: I want to buy an old house in Durham, big enough to host a rehearsal and performance space, set my artist friends up in it so that they only have to pay utilities, and then…take off.
If there’s anything the last trip taught me, it’s that the world is just too big for me to stay in one place.
Do I have the money to do this? No, not at present. But it’s what I want and now I’ve said it aloud. So may the universe conspire in my favor.