Unstuck in time.Posted: April 23, 2012
Lately, I’ve been waking from sleep feeling very disoriented. I have to take several beats to remember where I am, what day it is, and—especially—which part of my life I’m currently living. Am I in high school? College? Old age? Am I a world-famous writer yet? Do I have children? And then I remember: I’m thirty years old, happily living in Durham but plotting more world travels; my writing is going splendidly, and I have five or six delicious new projects brewing; I’m trying to decide on an agent, and my whole life seems poised to tip one way or the other.
I told this to my sister Clare. She said, It’s funny how we settle on the “correct” answer. Why do we choose to live linearly? Why don’t we skip around? I like to think that, in those moments of disorientation, I could indeed slip into another phase of my life entirely, and then slip back with certain wisdom, like writing a novel in circles, or painting a picture in spirals.