Paradigm shift.Posted: November 28, 2011
I promise this has to do with art.
To me, at present, an intimate relationship would also ideally be a creative relationship. But I feel the universe is conspiring to teach me something. First there was this article on the modern woman and marriage; then this article about the uncoupling of love and sex; and then of course this book, about the construction of marriage as a necessarily all-consuming full-service relationship being a very recent thing. And all of these are floating in a bottomless bowl of ideas about possession, autonomy, intimacy, solitude, and (paradoxically) how not to take relationships personally.
What is a partner for? Less, I think, than s/he used to be. Which isn’t to say that the person would be a lesser person. It just means I would need less of them. Because, as much as I still cherish the ideal of an ideal partner, the person who fulfills all of my needs, hopes, desires and expectations keeps turning out to be me.
I don’t know in which direction I should surrender.